when i go down

i'll tell you flat out, it hurts so much to think of this. so from my thoughts i will exclude.
the very thing that i hate more than everything is the way i'm powerless to dictate my own mood.

i've thrown away so many things that could've been much more. and i just pray, my problems go away if they're ignored. but thats not the way it works. no thats not the way it works.

when i go down, i go down hard. and i take everything i've learned and teach myself some disregard. when i go down, it hurts to hit the bottom. and of the things that got me here, i think, if only i had fought them.

if and when i can clear myself of this clouded mind. i'll watch myself settle down. into a place where peace can search me out and find that i'm so ready to be found.

i've thrown a way the hope i had in friendships. i've thrown away so many things that could've been much more. i've thrown away the secret to find an end to this. and i just pray, my problems go away if they're ignored. but thats not the way it works. no thats not the way it works.

any control i thought i had just slips right through my hands. while my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimends me. then and there i confess. i'll blame all this on my selfishness. yet you love me. and that consumes me. and i'll stand up again and do so willingly.
you give me hope, and hope it gives me life. you touched my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light. as i exhale i hear your voice. and i answer you, though i hardly make a noise. and from my lips the words i choose to say, seem pathetic, but its a fallen man's praise. because i love you. yes, God i love you. and life is now worth living, if only because of you.

when i go down, i lift my eyes to you. i wont look very far, cause you'll be there with open arms to lift me up again. to lift me up again.

Relient K.

*that would describe all =)