counting down the days

You were right and i don't wanna be here. If your gonna be there, was that supposed to happen. I'll hold tight, i'll remember to smile. Though it has been a while and without you does it matter. There's no room, no place to start. When our souls are apart, i wanna travel through time. See your surprise, hold you so tight. I'm counting down the days tonight. I just wanna be a million miles away from here. I'm counting down the days. How've you been, it's just the usual here and days are feeling like years, and every day's without you. Now I cry,just a little too much. When I think of your touch and everything about you, i feel cold, i'm in the dark. When our souls are apart, i wanna travel through time. See your surprise, hold you so tight. I'm counting down the days tonight. I just wanna be a million miles away from here. I wanna travel through time. See your surprise, hold you so tight. I'm counting down the days tonight. I just wanna be a million miles away from here, i'm counting down the days, i'm counting down the days, i'm counting down the days. I'm gonna be your surprise, i'm gonna hold you so tight. Yeah, i wanna travel through time. See your surprise, i'd hold you so tight. I'm counting down the days tonight. I just wanna be a million miles away from here. I wanna travel through time. See your surprise, i'd hold you so tight. I'm counting down the days tonight, i just wanna be a million miles away from here. A million miles away from here.

current song: counting down the days-natalie imbruglia
so very blessed :)

*He's been as faithful as ever! :)

you wish i'm torn?

I thought I saw a man brought to life. He was warm, he came around like he was dignified. He showed me what it was to cry. Well you couldnt be that man I adored. You dont seem to know, dont seem to care what your heart is for. But I dont know him anymore. Theres nothing where he used to lie. My conversation has run dry. Thats whats going on, nothings fine Im torn. Im all out of faith, this is how I feel. Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor. Illusion never changed into something real. Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn. Youre a little late, Im already torn.

So I guess the fortune tellers right. Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light. To crawl beneath my veins and now. I dont care, I have no luck, I dont miss it all that much. Theres just so many things that I cant touch, Im torn. Im all out of faith, this is how I feel. Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor. Illusion never changed into something real. Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn. Youre a little late, Im already torn. torn. Theres nothing where he used to lie. My inspiration has run dry. Thats whats going on, nothings right, Im torn. Im all out of faith, this is how I feel. Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor. Illusion never changed into something real. Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn. Im all out of faith, this is how I feel. Im cold and Im ashamed bound and broken on the floor. Youre a little late, Im already torn.

you wish i will sing this over you? too bad, not a chance.

yes you are late. but im not torn.

current song: torn-natalie imbruglia
current mood: thoughtful.

sapphire and faded jeans.

Three little birds sat on my window and they told me i don't need to worry. Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet. Little girls double-dutch on the concrete. Maybe sometimes we've got it wrong but it's alright. The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same. Oh don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on. Tell me your favourite song. You go ahead, let your hair down. Sapphire and faded jeans, i hope you get your dreams. Just go ahead, let your hair down. You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely. Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside (just relax, just relax) . Don't you let those other boys fool you. Got to love that afro hair do. Maybe sometimes we feel afraid but it's alright. The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change. Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song. You go ahead, let your hair down. Sapphire and faded jeans, i hope you get your dreams. Just go ahead, let your hair down. You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

'Twas more than I could take, pity for pity's sake. Some nights kept me awake, i thought that i was stronger. When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer? Do what you want to.
Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song. You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, i hope you get your dreams. Just go ahead, let your hair down.
Oh you're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow
(put your records on-C.B.R)


-just like they said; you'll find your feet :)

not myself

Suppose i said, i am on my best behavior. And there are times, i lose my worried mind.
Would you want me when im not myself? Wait it out while i am someone else?

Suppose i said, colors change for no good reason. And words will go from poetry to prose
Would you want me when im not myself? Wait it out while i am someone else?
And i, in time, will come around. I always do for you

Suppose i said, youre my saving grace
Would you want me when im not myself? Wait it out while im someone else?
Would you want me when im not myself? Wait it out while im someone else?

current song: not myself-john mayer
current mood: thoughtful; surrendering

it rained.

why all things should matter if you already have it all? a pastor once said, we only can start to love our lives when we can start to be grateful with what we have.
that is what im struggling with. to be grateful with the things that i haven't noticed i had before; to be grateful for those experiences, mistakes, memories, and those people around me.
especially to forgive those people who hurt you, who back stabbed you, who fake-laughing and fake smiling at you and knowing that they are your close friends. well at least, that's what you think.

but then again, that's life. it is not something good to enjoy, it is not easy and it is very much a struggle. and for that reason, i finally found my firm foundation. and that is where i am now.
i thank Him for that. for every reason He has, in order to get me here, i am so grateful. i have no idea whats going on now. i have no idea whats going on tomorrow.
there were so many things happened lately. i have so many things to worry about today right here right now at this moment. i whined about it. i cried about it. i cursed everyone and everything. i even gave up.

but the time has come, when it rained on me. so hard. so powerful. and it left me breathless. rejoiced. and fully-satisfied. it rained on me.

it is now i realize that i have a journey to walk onto; its not an easy one. it is a journey where i have to decide where my destination is, who to go with, and what are the things that i want to bring along in the journey.

again, im clueless. i need someone to bring the lights to me. i need someone to go with along the way; to walk, to run or to hold hands with.
cos i know theres gonna be dark times; the time when i fall, the time when im too tired of walking, too tired of wandering around and the time when i lost my direction again.
thats when i need the lights. need the presence. need the drink for my thirst. when i need a hand to hold onto.

ive got to be ready, for the time has come. when everything is ready for me. where everything is just beautiful. where everything is just at the right place, the right time; then i will realize that i've found the right person. it is when everything is just perfect they way they are.

and this is where i wanna be. here. only here. when its raining down. so hard.
its getting me ready. and im so ready. and im so ready to be found.