dearest home.

i miss home. so bad. what i can think of at this moment is only home. it brings me to those memories when everything was just as simple as it could be, like nothing really serious will affect your life. i miss thinking and worrying about nonsense things like i did back then in high school. it was so deadly funny when i read back my high school journal few days ago. i found out that i did think and wrote nonsense about what i feared of. well, its funny cos most of them didnt actually happen. yes, i did think too much. in fact, i still do. it has to stop. i know.



i just deleted a long paragraph of this blog cos i wrote about crappy things. i shouldnt. i really really feel like writing nonstop but i know that i will definitely write about emo stuff which again, i shouldnt. Haahhh *take a deep breath, i need a break. seriously. but this is not a good time, i know. finals coming soon and im tired of the fact that i have to go through that rough days and crappy sleepless nights again. *sigh



actually this is the perfect time to say "i wish things could be different". *sigh -again! but yeah, i wish so too. as i was listening to Starring at the sun by Rooster and Dare you to move by Switchfoot when i was writing this, it came to my mind that whining will not help me to go through this. as Jon Foreman sings, "i dare you to move, i dare you to live yourself up off the floor", i feel so relieved.

and just for info, these songs have a great lyrics and "The Beautiful Letdown" album is really great. i love Jon Foreman (Switchfoot vocalist); he said "Eventually everything fails me, but when I look at the sunset or the sky, I'm reminded what it's like to be alive. My friends, there is a big difference between the way this world should be and the way it is." it wakes me up as i read it. i've lost my inspiration in life. i want it back.

i want my inspiration back.
(i sigh too many times)